Today it hit me really hard that I'm leaving. I was out having coffee/lunch with Jane on one of our typical Starbucks/T-Bell dates and I was talking to her about the trip and I was suddenly like, oh... I'm leaving Monday! I have to pack! I have to get ready! OMG, OMG, OMG! (Ok, that's being a little overdramatic, but how else do you describe something hitting you so hard?). It was like a wave just came over me, adrenaline started pumping, my arms started to have a slight shake as if they are really weak from something, which is what happens to me when I get REALLY nervous. Oh, and I started sweating like a pig. How lovely! Jane made me realize how much support I have here in all of my friends and family and that everyone is cheering me on. And then, of course, Jane teared up when saying goodbye (yes, Jane, if you are reading this, I did see it!!) and so of course as soon as I get in my car I sit there for a minute, eyes starting to water, and just thinking, wow... I've really grown up! But I couldn't be more grateful for all the love and support I have back home and in my life, it's incredible. And I just have so much love to give back to the world, I can't stand it. (God, I'm such a queen! lol) But really, I've got all this love, and I think it's time I brought some to France and shared it... haha anyways...
Saying goodbye to my uncle, cousin, and grandma tonight was hard too... I think I almost lost it when I left my cousins and she texted me saying how proud she was of me and that even though I'd be far away, the year will go by fast and they (my family) will all still be there when I get back. Tearing up now just thinking about it...
But I just wanted to say to my family (if any of y'all are reading this) that I am doing this not only for myself but for YOU! I've wanted nothing more in my life than to make you guys proud, and I hope you are! If there's anything you guys have taught me the most, it's how to love, and I'm happy that I can share my love with other people. Even if I don't see you guys often and maybe we don't agree on things sometimes, I love you all so much!
Anyways, sorry for this random, emotional blog entry, but I just had to let it out. Missing my bff in Chile too... gah, this night is just getting better and better.... But it makes me happy to know that we are all on to better things, even if we have to be far apart for a while...
So to update on my departure situation, I am not currently packed but I have all my clothes, luggage, and assorted random toiletries and things piled in one GINORMOUS heap on my bed. Plus a huge pile of laundry to do (which I will then add to the heap), 2 cars to wash, some new underwear and toiletries to buy, and then comes the rest of the packing... It's gonna be a long weekend but I know it will fly by and then on Monday I will be happily in Guadeloupe with my Ingy boo! :) :) Sweating my ass off and getting eaten alive by mosquitos! I CAN'T WAIT!! Eeee!! :D
Ok, Im done now.
à bientôt,
Dougie <3
Days to departure: 3
So when don't I cry? I thought I got away with it. It was so good to see you before you left. Have the thrill of your life. You know we are all so proud of not only what your are doing but who you have become. I cannot wait to live France through your eyes.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Jane!! I am missing the United States JUST a little bit, but I am really enjoying myself here. I am currently waiting for my flight to Paris and am updating my blog with the entries I wrote about Guadeloupe, since I didn't have internet the whole trip. Glad I got to see you before I left too!!
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